When a girl first becomes a teenager, she tends to be the happy, giddy, fun-loving young lady she has always been. But during those early teen years, something strange happens. She slowly stops talking to you, turning instead to her friends to share her secrets. She doesn’t want to hug you anymore – in fact, she barely wants to look at you, and she rarely says that she loves you, even though you know she still does. Her attention is now consumed by boys, clothing, her body, and what her friends think. In fact, those friends take center stage – and if they are a bad influence, things can get rocky fast. Being an effective parent means learning – quickly! – about dealing with angry teenage girls.

Ways of Dealing With Angry Teenage Girls

Learning how to deal with angry teenage girls might seem like an impossible proposition. Where did that sweet girl go? How can you possibly relate to this new creature who took her place? But as a parent, it is important to remember that you really can relate to her again – as long as you follow these tips to figure her out.

1. Educate Yourself About Teenagers

Now is the time to prepare for dealing with angry teenage girls. Read every book you can get your hands on about teenage parenting. Pay attention to what your mother said about you when you were this age. Remember the struggles that you dealt with back then. They seem small and petty now, but when you were a teenager they seemed very important indeed. Learn what is coming, and then you can be prepared for when it happens.

2. Show Her Your Love

The teenage years are filled with insecurity. Make sure that she is not insecure about your love for her. Even if you think she already knows, tell her anyway. Remember to tell her that she is loved, no matter what, and she always will be. You just might diffuse the arguments of an angry teenage girl!

3. Communicate Early

Start talking to your child about the embarrassing things long before they come up. For instance, have the sex talk when your child is too young to be having sex, and certainly before she is too old to tune you out or see you as being “gross” for bringing it up. The same goes for things like acne, changing friendships and everything about her body. Keep the lines of communication open from the start.

4. Make Appropriate Rules

Encourage family time together, but don’t insist that your teenager go to every outing with you. Make a curfew and stick to it, but be lenient if your teen proves they can be trusted. The appropriate rules will lead to more respect from your daughter.

5. Set Boundaries on What She Sees and Reads

No matter how mature your teenager is, they still need boundaries on what they see or read. It’s okay to set limits on how much television they watch, which channels they are allowed and what kind of sites they visit on the internet. Setting boundaries on these things is what good parents do.

6. Set Expectations

Your teenager might seem to want her own way all the time, but the truth is that she will thrive more when she had boundaries and expectations to meet. Expect good grades, appropriate behavior, kindness toward others and respect for your house rules. Teenagers – even angry teenage girls! – understand that this is a parent being loving toward them.

7. Model Good Behavior

Treat everyone you meet with respect. Be kind to everyone. Always hold onto your dignity, no matter what. Your daughter is watching what you do, and these things allow you to be a role model for her.

8. Talk to Your Girl

Talk to your kids about everything, and when there is something you don’t understand or have never heard of, take the time to learn. Then talk to your kid about it. The more you talk with your child, and the more you know, the more likely your teenager will make responsible decisions.

9. Let Her Talk to You

It’s natural to want to give your daughter the best advice and encouragement, but sometimes she just needs you to shut up and listen. Angry teenage girls often feel as though no one is listening to them, and that is part of the reason they shut off and don’t talk to you. Make it clear that you hear what she has to say, and you are taking it all into account.

10. Put Yourself in Your Girl’s Place

Again, remember how you felt way back when. Your child might be concerned with things that you know don’t matter, but she doesn’t have that kind of perspective yet. Try to see life through her eyes, not yours, and you just might connect with her much more easily.

11. Do Not Worry About Every Tiny Thing She Does

Teenagers are trying to figure out who they really are, and that means a great deal of experimentation. If they want to do something that is temporary, such as dying her hair or wearing a certain type of clothing, why not? It isn’t a permanent change. What you should be worried about are the serious things, like smoking, drinking or worse.

12. Respect Her Privacy

Your kids need your trust. Give your daughter the space she needs by letting her journals, emails, and phone calls be private – until you have a very good reason to treat them otherwise. Start your relationship with trust, and don’t break that trust. Your teenager will have much more respect for you if you allow them that privacy.

13. Be Sensitive

Sometimes your kid might want to pretend she doesn’t have parents at all. She might be very worried that you will somehow embarrass her. In cases like that, try to fade into the background, but remind her with a smile and a kind word that you are still there. Your sensitivity toward her can break down the barriers.

14. Avoid Those Things

There are some things that your child does not need from you, and that includes arguments or being defensive. Lecturing, nagging and sarcasm will almost certainly put your kids on the defensive. You should also be careful to choose the right timing for your discussions with your child – bad timing can ruin a great thing!

15. Know When to Worry

Even with all the lines of communication open, sometimes your teen might want to experiment with things that are bad for her. Watch for warning signs, such as failing grades, skipping school, suddenly changing friend groups, sleep problems, weight gain or loss, personality changes, talk of suicide, problems with the law or signs of drug, tobacco and alcohol use.

Learn more advice from one mom who’s been there about dealing with angry teenage girls: